Act like a Lady, think like a man by Steve Harvey

We all know Steve Harvey. 

His kind of poker-faced, deadpan humor leaves you in splits just by looking at him remain that way. 

To his credit, Harvey has been a superb host (the Miss Universe blooper aside), an author (four books, not one), TV show host and standup comedian. More, in fact which couldn’t possible fit here. 

4

4/5

Author : Steve Harvey
Originally Published : 2009
Publication :Haper Luxe
Pages : 240
Genre(s) :-
Non-Fiction, Self-Help, Psychology, Relationship

This book, Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man, turned out to be a bestseller owing more to Harvey’s deadpan humor and observations. 

At the beginning of the book, he tells us why he has written this book:

  1. Too many women are clueless about men 
  2. Men have to face too much of stuff in relationship for exactly the same reason as (1)
  3. He wants to share some valuable information to change all of that. Now that’s quite a noble thought, coming from someone who knows how to make people laugh.

For as much as women have to deal with in life, the kids, family commitments, relationships, body image, ageing, friendships and what not, they also give their best when it comes to love and commitment. The problem begins when they start expecting the men to reciprocate in the same measures to it. Unfortunately, the men aren’t able to comprehend what exactly are the women expecting from them. This is exactly where problems in relationships begin and at times deteriorate the relationships. 

The point Harvey makes is that the mindset of men is different than that of women. It begins in boyhood and remains that way as he grows into an adult. He is driven by what he makes out of his life- his work, the positions and the money he makes. That drives him the most because in his world, the other men judge him based on how he provides for his family. Women expect men to express his love the way they do- all mushy mushy, looking-into-eyes and all, while the men prefer to express through the pride that they feel having the woman in his life at a special position. 

The man expresses his love and commitment through being protective, by being the provider. And he is very diligent in deciding whom he will protect and provide for. He will do it wholeheartedly only once he is sure the woman is his. Till then, he may not feel confident enough. 

So a man’s love fits into three categories for expressions

  • Profess
  • Protect
  • Provide

And what does he expect in return? You feel all those lovey-dovey songs and poems, the cakes and the finery? No. he expects three things

  • Support
  • Loyalty 
  • Cookie (Now what’s that? sex, for the dumbos – pun intended)

There are some things that put a man off. Like the words “We need to talk”. He will run for cover when he hears those words because he doesn’t like to talk complicated things, his instinct is to fix whatever is wrong and be done with it. No more discussions. For talking about problems, women may very well approach their girlfriends. 

Steve Harvey has a way with answering questions that have stalked women’s minds for years and may have sabotaged many a relationship even before it blossomed. He goes all out to give away the secrets- what men like in the women, when is it that you know he’s serious about the relationship,  how he behaves if the woman has kids of her own already and he has his, gifts, boudoir, surprises, family, household work, shopping, trust, fidelity, attractiveness, Harvey has written a no-holds-barred tale of what men want and how they behave. 

Key takeaways

  1. Women must know how men think and act. So his prime suggestion is for women to think like a man but act like a lady- feminine, that pleases a man the most. 
  2. Men and women think, feel and behave in totally different ways. Knowing how men do that clarifies several things for women who feel misunderstood, left out or plain ignored.
  3. What men expect from a woman they’re serious about (read: they’re looking forward to marrying) is pretty simple but profound at the same time. Women who understand this prevent a lot of heartburn for themselves.

Why I recommend this book

Not because it makes us, men, smile that ‘Oh! You got us, man!” smile! 

Definitely not. 

But because here’s someone who dared to put up what we men feel and make things easier for us. I really wish more women read this book and spare us the agony of being misunderstood at all time with the pet peeve of women “You just don’t understand”. We do understand, perhaps you need to understand us too. Harvey is one person with magic in his words. If only more men could tell what they want as clearly as he does, the world would be a better place (for us men). 

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