Importance of Self Love by Hamsa Narasappa

How far can one go in love?
How far can YOU go?
Do you really need to go that far?
What if you didn’t go?
These are just few questions one can ask to gauge what love can be or how one perceives love to be. There are many twisted definitions of love. You can Google them and be lost – honestly. In reality, it is not as complicated as it seems to be.

When we know we love something, why does it have to take up so much effort to get to that something? Because we are either obsessing over it or do not believe that we can get that something so easily. In essence, it is easily translated to ‘The more you love something is directly proportional to the amount of effort you need to invest’.
This is not the whole truth. The bare truth, if I may say so, is that we are all operating from a space of need. Now, how did this space create itself in the first place? It seeded from a place of not having enough.
So, it turns out something like this: Me not having enough of ‘that’ = I need it more.

And, have we ever stepped back to think, why don’t we have enough, that which we need? You might want to think now, before you gaze through the next line!
The underlying emotion to all things we need is scarcity. Simply put, why would you need more if you were satisfied or wholesome with what you already had, right? That’s your cue. We have such deep-seated scarcity in all of us, that we are on a constant chase to fill the void, that need, to reach that never ending goalpost. This is how we have been conditioned since eons. You get to a certain manageable or achievable point, enjoy/brood the feeling momentarily and you strive for more, thus the cycle continues. This isn’t anything to do with being ambitious or otherwise. We tend to be ambitious only because we need to get better than what we were with respect to all areas of our waking lives. Nothing wrong with that. But, does that need arise from a place of scarcity or abundance, will answer the above question!
In this ‘corporate rat race’,‘dog eat dog world’, some of you might frown upon and think how can I become complacent and let things pass by, like it doesn’t matter to me while it goes about No one is asking you to become complacent! As simple as anawareness of where this need is springing from is enough for a major shift, within. We are not conditioned to become our best selves overnight, just after reading some good content on the internet or any book or by having a couple of good conversations with a fellow wise human. It takes tons of self-effort, I repeat – tons of self-effort, to make that shift. It takes courage to step into your own shoes (for the first time ever in a better sense) and ask few important questions.

“Why do I need this so much?”
“Will I be happy if I achieve that?”
“Will that make me feel complete?” Etc..
The answer to all such questions will only improve over time when that shift from scarcity to abundance begins at a subconscious level. Now, how fancy is this term “abundance”,one might ponder.Or,how can one feel abundant when one knows that, “that something” is physically or emotionally not available at all? My counter question is, “Do you feel you do not have enough?”. If the answer is yes, then “Why?”
You might as well use the 5-Why’s of Six Sigma!

It will eventually boil down to a point, where clarity starts to make space in one’s mind that it is the feeling of lack that makes one keep striving for more, always was and will remain such if we let it be.

Let’s just take a small tour to each of our worlds and notice how much we already have, right at this very moment.

Pause your reading or whatever that you are doing now. Close your eyes. And take a deep breath and hop on that tour. Make a list of what YOU HAVE. Don’t stress on it. Just notice. Acknowledge it. Express heartfelt gratitude. And the beauty of abundance will unfurl – or the first attempt towards it has already begun.

It can be that easy, but the most difficult point to get to as well. It is not impossible and it isn’t a paradox. Try it over each and every day until this becomes a new conditioning of the mind. We have a lot of muck to undo –that has been going on for generations together, through our families, through our bodies and hence our lives. And this has become a collective pattern, in itself!

There is only one place you can call home. And that is right within you – filled with unconditional love, exultant joy, heart-warming affection to no other but your own self. The wise always say, you cannot pour from an empty cup and that is so true. Fill yourself to the brim so much that you are just enough. And that is what abundance is all about and self-love is all about.It is not big deal but a great deal at it!
Self-love is not about stomping everyone in the name of it to survive. Haha, No! That’s arrogance and ignorance stemming from survival mode. Let’s not get there at all.

Here are some parting thoughts to this. Do a daily ritual of just sitting down quietly with yourself for few minutes in a day.

  • Observe your feelings
  • Be grateful.
  • Set Intentions
  • Keep Doing.
  • Abundance will flow!

And everything you ever thought was impossible, will start to arrive!

Love more! 

More importantly – GIVE!

Author Bio:

Hamsa is an aspiring observational writer whose writing spans between thought provoking content to anything noteworthy, through experiences of mundane life and otherwise. She is a lover of food and travel who enjoys exploring food and can travel miles hunting for a good bite. She is also a chaser of bookstores for the love of books. Be it solo or in a pack, knows to enjoy every bit of the journey and whatever is in store at the destination. Offlate, she has become a scout whose discovery of her own light has put her on path of illuminating others lives.

She is an IT professional for the sake of livelihood.

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